Wow sir, I will definitely pray for you. Here's some encouragement I found for myself in Psalm 34 today, perhaps it will also lift you.
18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Pick your favorite translation. http://biblehub.com/context/psalms/34.htm